The holidays can be a time of togetherness, joy, and fun. It can also be a time of stress, loneliness, and anxiety that can take a significant toll on your mental health. If you find yourself stressed before or during this time of year, you’re not alone.
According to an American Heart Association (AHA) survey, most people take weeks to de-stress after the holidays. Almost all the respondents to this survey reported that they regretted not making time to rest or enjoy the season. Knowing the challenges ahead during this time of year, you can proactively put in guardrails to protect your mental health. Let’s review some tools and skills that can help.
The Effects of Stress
We all know that stress isn’t something we want to feel all the time. While stress serves the purpose of keeping us alert and aware of potential dangers, too much stress is bad for our bodies and minds and can negatively impact our choices and actions. But how does stress affect us? The Mayo Clinic outlines how below.
| Impact on our bodies | Impact on our minds | Impact on our actions |
| Headaches | Concentration problems | Anger outburst |
| Muscle pain | Anxiety | Substance abuse |
| Stomach issues | Memory issues | Over or undereating |
| Sleep problems | Depression | Isolation |
| Chest pain | Irritability | Moving, exercising less |
| Fatigue | Feeling of overwhelmed |
1. Set Realistic Expectations
From dishes to events to outfits to gifts, there are a lot of expectations for this time of year. Often, we set unachievable goals and, therefore, position ourselves for the negativity that comes when those goals are not met.
It’s important to step back and ask if our expectations for ourselves and others are too high. Recipes may not turn out as they looked on Pinterest, children may not use their manners when grandparents are over, your house may not be immaculate, and you may be late to an event.
If you expect perfection, these possibilities are a huge disaster and, in turn, cause you to stress during the activities and time surrounding them. Setting realistic expectations is a game changer. You ease your anticipation during this time of year, lowering your stress levels and allowing yourself to enjoy the time.
2. Draw and Hold Boundaries – It’s Ok to Say No
Putting in place frameworks for what is ok and not ok for you is an essential to-do over the holidays. Boundaries help us maintain who we are, stop others from taking advantage of us, invigorate our relationships, give us space to respectfully speak our minds, and open us to empathize with others. Healthy boundaries over the holidays could look like this:
- Not answering emails or work calls after hours or on your scheduled time off.
- Saying no to invites when you want a quiet night at home.
- Expressing discomfort to a relative who wants to talk about politics.
- Politely asking others to respect your physical personal space.
When our boundaries are not respected, we feel off. It feels wrong in our gut. Lots of people ignore those feelings because they do not want to displease another person. This year, challenge yourself to let other’s feelings in response to your boundaries not be yours to manage. Respectfully and authentically expressing and maintaining your boundaries is foundational to your mental well-being.
3. Balance Your Schedule
Calendars fill up quickly during the holidays — often overflowing. It may seem impossible to manage and curate your schedule. More than half of the people surveyed in the AHA study reported that they had trouble making time for healthy eating, exercising, and getting adequate sleep this time of year. But finding balance in your day and week can keep you on your holiday plan while keeping your stress in check.
As you make a list of must-dos, be sure to include meals, exercise, sleep needs, and decompression time. Don’t just pencil them. Draw healthy boundaries around your time, knowing that you must show up for yourself before you can for others over the holidays. You may not be able to make a 60-minute yoga class, but stretching at home for 15 minutes can be just as impactful. Five minutes of peace alone — wherever you can find it — can make a huge difference in your day.
4. Practice Mindfulness Regularly
Signs of stress can be sneaky. Starting with a few quick breaths followed by jaw clenching, you’re well on your way to a full-on anxiety attack. Tuning into your body throughout the day is an important step in managing your stress over the holidays. Meditation, yoga, journaling, and walking are all great ways to cultivate awareness of what’s going on with you. From that knowledge, you can practice breathing techniques, use a self-soothe kit, or other coping techniques to regulate yourself. Then, you can start to address what’s causing the stress.
5. Lean on Support
Help can be asking a coworker to assist with a project, a parent to watch your child for a few hours, or a friend to pick something up for you when they’re running errands. It can also be asking for someone to listen to you as you talk through something, company as you go for a walk, or someone simply holding space with you. Over the holidays this year, look to your family, friends, and coworkers for support. You can also lean on the VEBA Resource Center (VRC). We offer programs and resources to help you live your healthiest life.
Looking for More Support?
The holidays can be a time of joy but also stress and anxiety. Prioritizing your mental health is crucial to navigate this season effectively.
VEBA’s new three-week virtual support group, “Coping Through the Holidays,” starting December 2, offers the support you need. Led by licensed therapist Crystal Powers, MA, LMFT, these sessions will help you manage stress, set boundaries, and practice self-care.
Join us on Mondays from 4:30-5:30pm on Zoom. Register now to secure your spot and learn more about the program on our website. Prioritize your well-being and enjoy a healthier, happier holiday season.
